other songs:
anal.bandcamp.com

don't buy this album i dont have a paypal account so can't get any money!
i also offer anybody to link their money account to this page and you can get all the money if somebody does buy. i need just new followers


epic doom metal video clip www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ik0sNVodFo8


recomended tracks to get the idea:
CREEKS
AUTUMN
SPFVSG
MORROW
GOVRIP

2010 - real instruments and vocal
2019 - real guitars and vocals
2020, 2021 - virtual instruments and real vocals
2024 and forth - vierual instruments

more songs are about to be finished in the nearest futre

all the songs with stupid vocals (which i had to write and sing myself having not found a vocalist) are now being perfectly rearanged into shorter and more orchestral instruemntal versions

vocals and lyrics of 2019 are in scots dialect of runglish language. themes: being an outsider, incel insanity and all the crap happening to a person who dedicates life to composing music in a narrow niche genre.


justpaste.it/cg4rg -- redditors' reviews and opinion


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introduction

russia, 2006, i was 13. i’d always been not like the others(was extremely anxious, vulnerable and anrgy) and a would-be mass murderer, the doctors themselves said so. i could no longer go to school, so parents put me in the madhouse for some time and later i began to receive my small pension as a disabled.
also i’d always been that boy with strange unnatural hobbies in the environment. like i would be obsessed with iguanas and tropics although i lived in a russian shithole and instead of snowballing in the yard with peers i would sit at my room and look at reptiles in books.
this very way, after a 2year obsession with gymnastics which ended in a giving-up and suicidal depression, i got obsessed with genres associated with metal, celtic&scandinavian folk music , orchestral soundtracks. by the time of the madhouse i’d already decided i would be a composer of my perfect genre, as bathory, iron maiden, chuck shuldiner, jeremy soule and folk rock bands were my icons (and i genuinely disliked most of the other music in the genres except these my particular favorites) yet they all lacked each other and i wanted to fuse them all and compose perfect melodies and arrangements and i saw i could (many melodies in what i've recorded i composed at the very beginning).
as i couldn’t tolerate any music except my favorites and my own, i didn’t manage to find any link-minded people, and so was doomed to stay a shut-in with no socialization. by now, since 2010 it’s been about 60 informal contacts in real life with somebody except my parents, i counted. there were 2 years of working courier jobs, all the rest i’ve spent in my room at the pc.
since the first seeing of peers of the opposite sex on the beach in 1996 i’ve been obsessed with daydreaming of being sexually desired by a peer girl and with sex in general. the main motivation in all my pursuits from iguanas to music was to become prominent in my field, successful and so win the attention of some girl.
there were long periods of stalking that or other girl, but the longest one was from 2011 ro 2021. we never even met or talked in real life, i only saw her through my monocular. she moved to europe in the end. in 2021 i was so despaired that i was already going to ----- her mother in the street, but by that year i’d become successful in being an incel lolcow on the internet, trying to get mass attention by all the possible ways, including publicizing plans of ------ (the police’s been to my home several times), to thus get me known to some girl who might be interested in me(10 previous years of decent attempts of asking girls for a date being to no result ) and so in 2021 this very way one girl, 11 years younger, from my city discovered me and offered dating out of pity. long story cut short, after 3 years of being friendzoned, wasting my last years of looking young, i stopped this crap. she was most open with me and among other things, like her being unable to see an already wrinkled skinny looser as a sex partner anyway, she would touch on the theme of me being not considered as a male partner for the reason of being not successful. who cares for your music? she would say. where’s the social and financial profit?
with my lolcow popularity i got a few more dates with others, none of whom after realizing i’m no peter bateman nor in looks nor in being successful, took any interest in me. there were of course various options of dates with ugly ones.
when i’m realizing that i'm going to never be young again and do all those things with a desired girl that desires me, when i remember the two decades of hellish suffering, countless couples i saw in the subway when i worked and realize they did all the pornhub stuff while i cried, fapped and rotted, i just want to give up and do what i’m going to do at the end my life. but i know i’ll endure a decade more for the sake of finishing of hundreds music pieces no one else’s going to arrange the way i see them.

i don’t want even to go into how much lifetime i spent on this my musical pursuit. got me absolutely nowhere. no audience. no one just doesn’t like the melodies. i asked on reddit and there were three long threads and many comments. they just don’t like the music, the notes. and generally, people look for performance, good performance. but at least just performance. that explains why people like crappy black metal better than my complicated compositions in this highly harmonized polyphonic style recorded on virtual instruments. it explains why some like my old stuff recorded with real guitars and don’t like at all these last tracks on which i spent a month of life per each to produce. i’m not an entertainer to give any performance. i compose sequences of notes and i release them as they are.
i don’t know anywhere where to promote-post except reddit. youtube and other platforms are useless. audience won’t appear out of the blue, whatever content you create, call it, tag it. i’m sick of idiots who recommend to change the name of the project, change branding, sound. There won’t appear any new places where promote except reddit forum. don’t ever tell me to change the name of the project, change branding, sound. you’ll just waste your time. i m going to do everything the way i do.
i’ve offered money to various popular bands in the genre to record a cover on my composition. but they just won’t reply or are not interested. and even if i do attract new audience onto my pages sometimes they still don’t like the music.